One morning you come to a crossroad in life and realize for the past 6 years, you've become who everyone made you out to be, and nothing like who you really are. Through the many friendships and friendshits that have shaped you in one way or another; you can't quite say you've been better or worse off. Along the way you're loved, adored, admired, envied, hated and then betrayed. And the cycle repeats itself with past or new friends.

Same pattern goes for relationships and relationshits. But they always leave a deeper impact. As we all grow up and become a little more jaded, quotes like "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" become so hackneyed we stop believing in them. Maybe for some of us, it's better to have never loved at all than to have loved and lost. But if you never take any risks, you have nothing to lose or gain. Maybe it's better that way. But have we become stronger against setting ourselves up for failure? Or have we become weaker, living in the absolute fear of pain? Just a thought.

Good Luck Chuck was fucking hilarious, classic Dane Cook. It'd would be kinda funny and sad, if all my ex's married the next guy they dated haha. Back to work.

Been contemplating over the changes in my life lately and among other things karma...

Now, whether you believe in karma or not it doesn't really matter. It's simply a title for the natural order of checks and balances in human behavior. To me bad karma is, more or less, guilt when you do something bad, and guilt is bound to eat you alive and bring some downfall upon you in your negative mindset; or else people will patronize you enough to make you feel guilty if you lacked internal morals to begin with. Good karma is simply recognition and respect by others who may someday indirectly pay forward your kindness or good deeds. As they say, nothing ever really goes unnoticed, good or bad.

Completely unrelated to the discussion. I've been in and out, MIA for a bit, nothing unexpected. Getting my securities licensing to be a broker/dealer, employed by AXA as an investment manager. So, I've been busy with that lately. On top of which, my grandmother had another stroke recently and is actually getting surgery done on her today. They really don't expect her to hold on much longer, that's why mum went back the day after the stroke. Dad already had plans to go back to China for business so I was asked to stay here to watch my now 10 year old brother Robert. Yes, he's 10 now! So that's what I've been up to this past month babysitting, studying, working a little, cooking and cleaning. Let me tell you, I feel like a single parent haha, and it sure in hell isn't easy. I mean, I don't even have an ex-wife to send him to on the weekends :P. But he's old enough to clean up after himself now so it's really not half bad. I enjoy the cooking and making him balanced meals for this growing boy, teach him a little piano twice a week. It's really kinda relaxing, good bonding time I guess since I've been gone away at college for 4 years. I guess growing up with a big brother who practiced piano everyday makes you want to learn? That's just odd, but I guess he hasn't learned of the 2 hour practice sessions I used to endure. I guess without that I would've loved piano too when I was younger. He was a little chubby the past 2 years, but he's growing into a teen now! Getting pretty damn handsome, if I may say so myself. More handsome than his big bro now for sure and a heck of a lot smarter. I'll post some pictures up of him when I take some. Too bad I have to find a babysitter to go out.

Back to karma, there's a few things I'm always against because I really don't like to bring bad karma upon myself, I think few people do. I've made my past mistakes and pretty big blunders but I think it's safe to say that these rules I've come to abide by can't bring me harm. And in my field, you learn to minimize risk and maximize return; pretty much a universal concept in life. The top two thoughts I have about bad karma are: don't cheat, and don't entice another person to cheat. The first is easy to understand, and we can go into a whole argument over the varying degrees of cheating and its shades of gray but I'd rather not. We all know some degree of right and wrong.

The second is a harder concept to grasp because on the surface it appears that the 3rd party involved will suffer little to no consequences other than some transitory shame but I believe there's more to lose hence, I discourage it. I mean think of it this way, if that person has never cheated before, you're first provoking them to, and secondly teaching them to. Top 2 reasons I hear as to why people still go about doing it.

Reason #1: "They're going to break with them and get with me." So what, you're a fucking car? An object to let them test drive? If they really didn't want to be with that person, why don't they break it off clean? I've known many people to do that. It's not unfair, it's most fair to the person being dropped. Ok, you say it's complicated. No, that's what they told you and made you believe. It's never that complicated, they just make excuses to themselves. They're just too damn greedy, and this isn't about having your cake and eating it too. No, this is about trying to have 2 cakes and eating both. It's pure relationship greed. And you would want a greedy person in your life why? If you're young, careless and have much time to waste go ahead and set yourself up for probable failure.

Reason #2: "I'm much better"; "They could do much better"; "They deserve better". I'm sorry, but you're no saint or savior. If they're in a bad relationship, 10 times out of 10, nothing you do will truly convince them otherwise. Google "Stockholm's syndrome". It'll really be up to them to break out of a bad relationship or cycle. If they don't internalize it, they'll continue to sympathize and take the abuse. Stockholm's syndrome are extreme cases of what we all experience one time or another. Over-sympathizing and putting up with people we sometimes shouldn't put up with and hurting ourselves in the end. And really if you have to talk a person out of something bad even though they already know better, they're just too stupid. I wouldn't waste my  time with them anyway. If they know better but can't do anything, they need to grow up, stop being a pussy and put their foot down. Or else they'll never truly be yours anyway. Don't try to rob another person of their love, you'd have to be quite selfish and narrow minded to do so. There's 3 billion people out there of your opposite sex, don't bring bad karma upon yourself. But hell what the fuck I know right? Just my two cent, if you don't need it, don't take it. I can't say I'm innocent, but I can say I continue to learn.

In life, everything just takes that extra shot of patience, which sometimes even I lack. Just wait for that person to leave their relationship in due time or give them time to break off. It'll be better for you and save you less heartahce and waste less time. But trust me, rushing things and cheating or promoting cheating will only bite you in the ass and make you more insecure with your own life and relationships. We all fear bad karma, deep down inside. And when you do something bad, you know that gut feeling that kinda eats you up inside? Well that breeds insecurity and insanity, give it a try and you'll see. Now if you have no morals or if you're a player, nothing I said today pertains to you. But life is fair, those people will never experience what true happiness and relative security is, and honestly to them they just don't care. They live in absolute selfishness and greed and life will deal them their low cards someday.

An extra moment of patience and thought can go a long way towards your own happiness (and I always sound like a fucking fortune cookie).

- Sean